Halo Halong Pinoy Jokes Series 1

Halo Halong Pinoy Jokes Series 1



*what is a HYMEN?

It's a thin sheet of flesh like a membrane inside woman's vagina. It's primary purpose is to "welcome visitors" saying:


HI MEN!  


rolling on the floor 




*WOMAN: Atty, I cant bear my husband anymore!

ATTY: Well, magpa-annul ka... (after 1 wk...)

WOMAN: Atty, I;m ok na. My husband has improved so much. Masarap pala magpa-anal (hehehe)







*May nagpaputok ng rebentador/labintador.. lumabas si Juan..
Juan: Sino nagpaputok nun?
Lumabas ang isang mama na malaki ang katawan..
Lalaki: Ako.. Bakit?!
Juan: Lakas ah... Bingi ako eh....




*one day, Mr. Bean is sick and he went to the doctor.
the doctor gave him a medicine to drink.

Mr. Bean is cutting the sides..

Doctor: Why are you cutting the sides?
Mr. Bean: to avoid the side effects..

LOL
 




*TITSER: Juan, use recharge & caffeine in a sentence.

JUAN: Si "Recharge" Gutierrez ay si "Caffeine" Barbell. ?
 big grin





*May nakabanggang bading si Inday…

INDAY: How dare you, ignorant road occupant! Moving with such accele*ration that cause elastic collision between my porcelain beauty and your grubby apparency of skin!

BADING: Bombalesh kang muchacha ka! Kenshulares mo makemer ang skin kong beautilicious! Never mo matorbokels and feslak ketch kung ayaw mer chenelyn makondrak chorva kita! Hala! Chupi!!!

INDAY: (nosebleed)

lol2





*MOTTO IN LIFE:

"If you want to practice safe s*x..


..do it with your same s*x."

 rolling on the floor






* Two kids talking:

RICH KID: Sometimes, if you work hard enough, you can get what you want. But most times, what you want and what you get are two different things. Although we can't have everything we want, we can want everything we have.

POOR KID: f*** you! ang damot mo naman, pahiram lang ng PSP eh..









 




*May isang sexing dalaga lumuwas ng Maynila para makita ang favorite DJ nya.
Gustong mag-take advantage ng DJ kaya pagpasok ng girl, nagbukas ng zipper at sinabing
"alam mo na siguro ang gagawin mo!"

Tumango ang girl, lumuhod at tumapat sa ari sabay sabi


"NAY, nasa radyo po ako. Kamusta kayong lahat dyan?!"

 big grinLOL





*Pag siya minahal mo, ipagluluto ka nya ng breakfast---
araw-araw.

Pag ako minahal mo, ako ang breakfast mo----
araw-araw.






 *Mrs: Darling, dati lagi mo akong hinahalikan sa LEEG.
Ba't ngayon di na?

Mr: kasi, Darling, NOON may leeg ka pa 

lol2





*EFFECTS of 7 Deadly Sins:


Ang SELOS,
nakakawala ng tiwala sa sarili..


Ang INGGIT,
nakakawala ng pera sa bulsa..


Ang GALIT,
nakakawala ng magandang mukha..


Ang KASAKIMAN,
nakakawala ng kaibigan..


Ang KATAKAWAN,
nakakawala ng magandang katawan..


Ang KAYABANGAN,
nakakawala ng hangin sa kapaligiran..


Ang KALIBUGAN,
nakakawala ng enerhiya sa katawan!


Save this as your guide.. LOL! LOLLOL

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