Inday Jokes

Inday Jokes



*Inday: Walang hiyang kang lalaki ka pinuyat mo ako kagabi

Dodong: Bakit ano ba ginawa ko

Inday: Nagsasalita ka ng mga pangalan ng mga babae merong Tina, Marie, Rose etc.ect.etc

Dodong: So ano ngayon, ano kinalaman ko sa pagkapuyat mo

Inday: Hinihintay ko kc banggitan mo pangalan ko eh







*DAD: Laki ng PLDT bills dito sa bahay. i don’t use this phone naman, i use my office phone.

MOM: Same here. I use my work phone.

SON: Me too, i use my company phone.

INDAY: So what’s the problem? We all use the phone in our work, di ba?








*sa Max's restaurant...

Waiter: Ano po order nila, ma'am, sir?

Amo: *** whole roasted chicken meal na lang. Ikaw Inday, ano order mo?

Inday: I would like to partake of a dish sauteed pork and chicken boiled in thick essence of soy sauce & veggies, like carrots, cauliflower, and baguio beans. Sprinkled generously with fine spices and spring onion, generously helping of rootcrop and rice!

Amo: bigyan mo raw ng chopseuy 'tong abnormal na 'to! Bechinan mo ng marami nang mamatay na!







*AMO: Inday, ba't umiiyak ka?
INDAY: Sabi po ng doktor tatanggalan daw ako ng butlig..
AMO: Butlig lang iiyak ka na?!!

INDAY: Okay lang kung right lig o lep lig lang, kaso but lig eh!







*INDAY sa Deal or No Deal:
(ending part)


KRIS: Charmel, before you open the briefcase, i'd like to thank Figliarina by Schubizz for my shoes, Bambi Fuentes for my hair and make-up and Pepsi Herrera for my gown tonight.

INDAY: Ahh, mam Kris, can i also thank a few people?

KRIS: Oh sure inday!

INDAY: I would like to thank Frank Provost and Revlon for my hair and make-up, CARTIER for my earrings, Jimmy Choo for my shoes and Versace for my gown tonight.


KRIS: (nag WALK-OUT)










*May nakabanggang bading si Inday…

INDAY: How dare you, ignorant road occupant! Moving with such accele*ration that cause elastic collision between my porcelain beauty and your grubby apparency of skin!

BADING: Bombalesh kang muchacha ka! Kenshulares mo makemer ang skin kong beautilicious! Never mo matorbokels and feslak ketch kung ayaw mer chenelyn makondrak chorva kita! Hala! Chupi!!!

INDAY: (nosebleed)









Amo: Hoy Inday! Bakit sunog ang sinaing?

Inday: Heavy fire that was exerted by the stimululs effect of the best conductor of heat which is steel, causing the oriza sativa which is the scientific name of rice to change its state of color, smell as well as taste.

Amo: In other words, you didn't apply your knowledge about heat conductors and left the oriza sativa to burn! Akala mo nosebleed ako noh? Iba nako! Bring it on b!tch!








RAPE SUSPEK
ATTY: Inday, pwede mo bang idiskrayb dito sa korte ang taong nangreype sa 'yo?

INDAY: Maitim, panot, tagyawatin, pango ilong, at bungal...devil

SUSPEK: Sige!...mang-asar ka pa!!!!









Inday: ang gwapo ni sir! ano kaya ang gagawin ko para mapansin nya ako? ah, ilagay ko nga ang panty ko sa la mesa..

Sir: kaninong panty to??

Inday: akin po.

Sir: MAY T.AE











Mam: alam mo inday, yang sir mo ang daming babae!

Inday: hay nako, si ma'm naman. pinagseselos pa ako!


 








Inday: Maam, magpapaalam na po ako. Uuwi na po ako sa probinsya.
Maam: Nagpaalam ka na ba sa sir mo?
Inday: Nauna na po siya. Doon na raw po kami magkikita!










Misis: "Inday, napansin mo ba ang barong ni sir mo? Lagi na lang may lipstick!"

Inday: "Opo nga ma'am! Mukang niloloko na tayo ni sir ah!!!"


laughinglaughing









Inday: Father, I confess that every time I look at other women during mass, I realize I'm the prettiest in the church!! Is that a SIN??

Priest: No Inday, it's a JOKE!!!










Mam: "Inday, siguro nambababae na naman ang sir mo! Laging maaga kung umalis e! Kanina, anong oras na naman ba sya umalis?"

Inday: "Hay naku pu mam, ewan ko nga ba! Pag gising ko kanina, wala na sya sa tabi ko!"











Mam: "Aba! kelan lang tayo bumili ng toothpick, bakit naubos agad?"

Inday: "Ewan ko nga mam. Kapag ako po ang gumamit, sinosoli ko naman eh!"











Sabi ng sosyal na Ipis kay inday:

"Don't you dare hit me with that magazine you are holding!"

Inday: "Avah, and why not you dirty land-dwelling anthropod?"

Ipis: "Because only Havaianas touches my skin. Who touches yours?"










INDAY: Dok, masakit na masakit po ang tiyan ko...Ano po
ba mabuting gamot dito?

DOK: Kelan pa ba nagsimula yan?

INDAY: Simula lang po nung kumain ako ng talaba!

DOK: Baka naman sira yung nakain mo? Nang buksan mo ba
yung talaba eh wala kang naamoy na mabaho?

INDAY: Binubuksan po ba yun?

laughinglaughing










Sir: inday wala ma'am mo. Dun tayo sa kwarto!

Inday: what?! Are you nuts? FYI sir, I intended to reserve my virginity for the person I truly love. If you think I'm easy to get, cheap and slut ... Well, you're barking at the wrong three & will you please act like a professional because you're so Eiwww! ... Charing lang sir, tara! Excited na ko.





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