Eskwelahan Pinoy Jokes

Eskwelahan Pinoy Jokes




*a philosophy teacherchallenging a student on his faith in God...

TEACHER: to see is to believe, have you seen God?

STUDENT: no sir, i haven't

TEACHER: then there is no God

STUDENT: sir may I ask a question? have you seen your brain?

TEACHER: no!

STUDENT: my dear classmates, uwi na tayo, walang utak si sir!!...

  laughing    laughing










*Matino street inside UP Village was renamed Santiago in honor of Senator Miriam Santiago.

In case you look for it, just ask for Santiago, ‘yung dating Matino!

big grin










*Mam: Jose, what is 3+1?

Jose: 4 po.

Mam: Korek, ikaw naman Toto, what is 1+3?


Toto: Pambihira, yan na nga ba sinasabi ko eh, pag mahirap na ang tanong, ako na lang lagi tinatawag!

laughing









*Titser:Ano ang Pambansang Hayop ng Pilipinas? Nagsisimula ito sa letrang "K"!

Boy:Kabayo?

Titser:Mali! Nagtatapos ito sa letrang "W"!

Boy:Kabayow?

Titser:Mali! May 2 sungay ito!

Boy:demonyong kabayow?


lol1lol1









*Spanish teacher: Class use 'fuera' in a sentence.
Student: Mis maestras son bonitas (my teachers
are beautiful).
Teacher: Oh, that's very flattering but where's
'fuera'?
Student: Fuera ka!

 









*TITSER: who can make a sentence then translate it in tagalog?

PUPIL: my titser is beautiful, isn't she?

TITSER: very good, translate it in tagalog.

PUPIL: ang guro ko ay maganda, maganda nga ba?












*HRM at NURSING Student nag-uusap:

HRM:Penge nga alcohol!!
NURSE:La akong alcohol eh.. sori
HRM:Naturingan kang nursing student, la kang alcohol!
NURSE:Cge nga.pengeng kaldero at sandok!Now n!May dala kb?!

laughing









*MATH TEACHER: Ano ang pinagkaiba ng 69 sa 6.9?

NAUGHTY STUDENT: Ma'am pareho lang po sila ng position kaya lang mas kadiri ang 6.9 kasi may period!











*Teacher: Write a sentence ending with HAND.

Juan: My penis in ur hand!

Teacher slapped juan…

Juan: Sorry I forgot to put space between pen and is…

laughinglaughing









*Guro: Totoo bang hindi naninigarilyo, di umiinom. di nagsusugal at di nangchichicks ang papa mo?

Pupil: Opo!

Guro: Wow! Anong sikreto nya?

Pupil: walang pera

big grin










*GURO: Jun, ba’t lagi mong nilalawayan ang ulo mo tuwing may klase tayo?

JUN: Narinig ko po kasi, sabi ni ate sa boyfriend niya, basain ng laway ang ulo ‘pag ayaw pumasok.












*Teacher asks her pupils what they want to be in the future...

Kiko: I want to be a lawyer

Juan: I want to be a doctor

Nene: I want to be a mother


Pedro: I want to help Nene

laughing











*Mayabang si Arnold.

TEACHER: Ito na ang resulta ng exam nyo. Si Arnold lang nakakuha ng 97%.

ARNOLD: Ano ha?! Kaya nyo yon?! Wala pang aral yon! Sinasayang nyo lang tuition nyo! Umuwi na kayo mga bobo!!


TEACHER: The rest, nakakuha ng 100% !!

 005005 








*ENGLISH TEACHER:

"The prefix "BI" is used to describe things that come in two's like BIcycle, BIfocal, and BInary.

Can you give me an example Juan?"

JUAN: (lunok)

"Ma'am.. B*YAG?"

laughinglaughing









*teacher asked johnny: if there were five birds on a fence and you shot one, how many were left?

johnny: none because others will fly away.

teacher: the answer is four but i like the way you think.

johnny: i have a question ma'am. if three women are eating ice cream; one is licking, one is biting and the other one is sucking, which one is married?

teacher answered nervously: well, the one sucking the cone.

johnny: no ma'am you're wrong. the one with the wedding ring on her finger is married, but i like the way you think.

 laughinglaughing









teacher: ok class are lesson today is about planets. earth is the third planet from the sun. now whats next to the mercury?

pedro: parang 7 11 ata ma'am di q sure..!

 









Teacher: Class, my name is MS. PRUKE! With R! Ang makalimot pipingutin ko!

Kinabukasan.

Teacher: Pedro, what is my name?

Pedro: Alam ko yun, with R yun eh! Mam! MS. PREKPREK!

Mr. GreenMr. Green









English Class (bawal mag-Tagalog)

Pedro: Ma'am, may I go out?

Teacher: Why?

Pedro: Because,
father, mother me!

Teacher: What?

Pedro: Tata, ina, ako!










One day in Sunday School,the teacher asked the kids what bodypart did they think should go to heaven first.

Little boy answered:Mam!I think the feet go to heaven first,cause I saw my mommy in bed one night with her feet in the air and she was yelling,"Oh God!I'm coming!I'm coming!!"

011011









TEACHER: Anong similarity nina Jose Rizal, Andres Bonifacio, Ninoy Aquino and Apolinario Mabini?

PEDRO: Ma'am, pagkaka-alam ko po, silang lahat, pinanganak ng holiday?


 







TEACHER: Lahat tayo nagmula kay Adan at Eva
STUDENT: Mam, hindi po totoo yan. Sabi ng tatay ko, nagmula daw tayo sa unggoy!
TEACHER: iho, hindi natin pinag-uusapan dito pamilya mo!

lol1lol1









TEACHER: What is the coldest freezer in the world?
STUDENT: Vagina ma'am
TEACHER: Ha! Why?
STUDENT: Kasi po, di pa nga pumapasok, ang tigas na


laughinglaughinglaughinglaughing









* MATH TEACHER: Ano ang pinagkaiba ng 69 sa 6.9?

NAUGHTY STUDENT: Ma'am pareho lang po sila ng position kaya lang mas kadiri ang 6.9 kasi may period!









*sa Math class..

Teacher: Juan, kung ako'y may 5 anak sa unang asawa, 10 naman sa pangalawa, at 3 sa pangatlo; meron akong?


Juan: Kalandian! Isa kang karengkeng Ma'am.

 


2 comments:

MhelizXsah20 said...

Ahhahah! ang kulit! Magamit nga ito!! Joke lang
Mabait akong estudyante!! heehehehe pero i really like your banat! Thanks sa mga post

Anonymous said...

puTang iNang banat yan..hanggang ngaun dq tumatawa pa aq..hahahha!!!

Post a Comment

 
 
 

Join the Pamatay na Banat Club