Pamatay na Banat sa mga Ayaw Kausap, KSP At Epal

Pamatay na Banat sa mga Ayaw Kausap, KSP At Epal



* friend: (nagukwento ng walang ka-kwentang kwento)
me: ask me if i care (sabay taas ng isang kilay)







* or another version
friend: (nagukwento ng walang ka-kwentang kwento)
me: and i care because? 







* You! off my planet!!   







* ah! i see the f*cked-up fairy has visited us again.  






* Do they ever shut up on your planet?       





* Earth is full. Go home.     







* eto piso, bumili ka ng kausap. keep the change, ha?










*say it with a sweet smile, a frown, a furrowed forehead or a scowl on your face, you'll get the same results:

"oh, i'm sorry, were you talking to me all this time?"  




*this happens when some unknown person happens to text me and asks me lame questions like "care for a text?" or "can you be my textmate?" and they happen to send these same messages again and again. i text them back with this message:

this will be my first and last message to you.
please read this carefully.
are you such a loser and so insignificant a person that you don't have any friends to text with so you go texting complete strangers? go get a life and leave me alone! thank you!








* meron akong kausap na tao, eh sobrang boring niya magkwento...yung hindiko na matiis yung antok ko sinabi ko na lang..

"uhm, excuse me. but what else is new??"

that shut that person up!!








*MA at PA
as in malay ko!!! at pakialam ko!!!








* if i pretended to care, will you pretend to be dead?   







* "huwag ka makialam...buhay ko 'to, if you don't have anything good to say, shut up!"   






* "pwede wag ka na lang magsalita..pumapangit ka eh"   







* "ilan beses ka ba pinanganak?"

"kulit ng ebac mo a"








*Kapag ako naman ang kinakausap na hindi ako interesado sa sinasabi:

"Kausap mo ba ako"










* Kapag may bigla naman umextra sa usapan:

"Kausap ba kita?"   









* "Alam mo ikaw napaka papansin mo! Siguro hindi masaya childhood mo noh? Siguro wala kang kaibigan?!"







* After listening to people babble, look at them quietly for a while when they stop chattering and say, "You're ugly."








* O ayan ka na naman, wag ka masyado lumapit sa akin at baka magkapalitan tayo ng mukha







* "How many times do I have to flush before you go away?"








* "Don’t bother me. I’m living happily ever after."    






* "i only entertain people im close with, so kung feel mu close tau edi kausapin mu ako!"    






* "mas masarap pang tumae kesa makipag usap sayo eh"







* To someone really irritating:

"Are you tired of living?"     







* At a college dance, i was sitting down and a guy comes up and chats me up... he was rambling on and on without him even introducing himself....

Me: (cuts him off midsentence and with an arched brow) Close tayo???  







* may may isang umeepal, nakipag-joke sa friend ko:

epal: ".....hehe, joke lang ha."

friend ko: "bakit nagjojoke ka sakin, kabiruan ba kita?"







*(while being asked for a favor)
"bakit? close ba tayo?" (sabay talikod at alis)








* My friend: [still talking about her problem] It's sooo stupid, right?
Me: Huh? Sorry, I quit the conversation 5 minutes ago.      







*banat kapag may nagpapapansin sa iyo

"wala ka bang magawa? umuwe ka sa inyo, sunugin mo bahay niyo para may magawa ka naman!"







* I'm not anti-social, I just don't like you








* Better to remain silent and be thought of as fool than to speak out and remove all doubt






* noong nag-aaral pa ako... (maingay yung kaklase ko during our lecture)

Me; Ang dami mong sinasabi, para kang Google.







* "My door is always open, so feel free to leave!"    





* DI KA BA PINAPANSIN SA BAHAY NYO?







*"Meron ka bang alam gawin maliban sa magsalita???"     *

wag m akng pakialaman sa gnagawa ko, kng ayaw mng itapal k yang cnasabi m sa pagmu2kha mo!  






isa kang malaking KSP! = KULANGOT SA PADER!"    

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