Call Center Jokes

3 Minutes
CS: I w! as hoping you can take this survey with me...Would you have the time to do that, sir?
Contact: How long is this gonna to take?
CS: Mmm.. MGA three minutes....
(Wapak!..napatagalog eh hahahah)


Example: a friendof mine asking information to cleint

Agent: What state you're located?
Client: I am from PA
Agent: Wow, I see you're Pakistan? (namfufu ...imbes na Philadelphia)


Agent verifying info from the customer:
Agent: Is that a P for Ping-Pong?
Customer: No, it's B.
Agent: Oh, B, like Bing-Bong...

Agent answering a call:
Agent: Thank you for calling Dish Network Department, my name is Vince..... (sees that the number called by customer is for a different client-- a DirecTV dealer).
Customer: So, I called the wrong number then?
Agent: Let me transfer you to DirecTV please dont go.... (puts the customer on hold, and then)... Thank you for calling DirecTV Department, my name is Vince...

Mr. GreenMr. Green

Agent giving the customer service web address:
Agent: It's P- as in Papa, I- as in India, C- as in costume, U- as in you, S- as in Sam, T- as in Tango, O.... Oscar...V- for Voy...

Agent trying to create urgency over the available promotion:
Agent: Are you sure you don't want to take advantage of me?
Customer: Say, what?


Agent was asking the customer about the cost of his cable service:
Agent: How much are you paying with your current provider?
Customer: Well, I'm only paying $25.00 (--which is way cheaper than what the agent was offering)
Agent: (Surprised) Put****na, magkano??!!


Agent getting customer's address:
Agent: Can I have your address, please?
Customer: It's twenyfurfif-ysavan newyaorkgh road (2457 New York Road)
Agent: Can you repeat that ulit?


Agent asking the customer to be put on hold:
Tech Agent: Sir, Can I hold you for just a minute?
Customer: Sure, baby, go ahead!

Agent verifying correct spelling:
Agent: Is that a B as in boy, or a B as in Bravo?
Customer: ...uhmmm... how about B as in Boy?


Agent from a local phone company entertaining a Visayan customer:
Customer: hillo! wala kasi yung bell ng pon namin??
Agent: Hindi naman po ba nabagsak yung phone?
Customer: Hende naman.
Agent: Kailan pa po ito nagsimula?
Customer: Ang alen?
Agent: Na hindi po nagri-ring yung phone?
Customer: Nagre-reng naman ah?!
Agent: Di ba sabi mo walang ring?
Customer: Hende! yong BELL! yong lestahan nong babayaran namin!!
Agent: aahhh... yung BILL?!


Agent: It's C as in CAT.
Customer: what?
Agent: C as in CAT. C-A-T as in meow meow...


Agent: Thank you for calling us, this is Candy, how may I help you?
Customer: What did you say your name was... Mandy?
Agent: No, sir, it's Candy.
Customer: Sorry, i can't hear ya... didja say Mandy?
Agent: It's Candy sir... Candy... as in Storck!

Tech support: We're going to perform a check disk to see if your hard drive has errors in it. Please type in C-H-K-D-S-K.
Customer: What is that again?
Tech Support: C-H-K-D-S-K... that is... C as in Charlie... H as in Harley... K as in Karly.. D as in Darley... S as in Sarley... and K as in Karly... got it?

Mr. GreenMr. Green

Customer:: "Do I need a computer to use your software?"

Tech Support:: ?!%#$ Angry


CS Agent: Thanks for calling Dell this is Mary how can I help you?
 Caller(irate): I hate Dell! You should stop producing Vista! Vista SUCKS!!!
 CS Agent: I do understand where you are coming from, but you see maam Microsoft is the company the created Vista not Dell.
 Caller: .... oh (Hangs up)
 (May masisi lang...Pahiya ng onti, walang bawe.. Hahaha!..)

CS: Thank you for calling name is can I help you?
Caller: My daughter purchase tickets using my CC I want a refund.
CS: I apologize for that inconvenience but all sales are final no refunds or exchanges.
Caller: Well she is a spoil Brat uncontrollable kid what can we do about that?
CS: Im sorry ma'm but I'm afraid I can't help you with that maybe you can try a Juvenile Correctional Facility.HANG UP.
(Hahaha..UU nga bakit hindi mo Itali anak mo teh hahah)


Agent: Sir, that is C for Cubao, Q for Quiapo.....
Customer: What is that?! I dont understand. I don't want to talk to you.
Agent: Who do you want to talk to?
Customer: I want to talk to the highest person.
Agent: My supervisor is not available as of the moment sir.
Customer: I said, I want to talk to the highest person.
Agent: Ok, you want to talk to the highest person?
Customer: Yes!
Agent: Do you want to talk to God?
Customer: what the f***! I'd rather talk to you.


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